Chemistry for the Non-Chemist

Ode to OChem
Oh the glassware, shiny clean,
Even better found, when with benzene.
KBr plates, scratched and dull,
Solids, nujol, in mull.
How the tranquil sodium sulfate doth lay,
To form the decahydrate, it's known to play.
But forget not, into a flask bestowing,
How else can we know, if it's free-flowing?
Now watch yourself, for Mrs. Hinshaws shout,
The times run down, we're done, get out!

pH Strips
The unknown awaits me,
I haven't a clue!
Will this small orange papers life
End in red, yellow, or blue?
Approaching, ever nearing,
The drip --- it has dropped.
Ah, alas, it is the undoing
Of suspension and fear
I now can determine,
From acid or base need I steer clear!

Distractions
There lies the table, clean with no mess,
Waiting for books, homework, possibly some stress.
calmly seated, pencil ready, my brain is almost there,
The solutions are within my reaching, each compound drawn with care.

Then comes in my bench partner, named Jacob, full of news and life,
Fifteen minutes I must wait, as he relays some trivial strife
Then it's over, his earplugs in, I'm ready to begin,
The pencils down, the thought it's there... then someone new comes in.

His major it is physics, his mouth it moves quite fast,
A friend met on my mission, with15 minutes to pass.
But then he's gone, some task to complete,
And I am left once more, left to some OChem feat.

I've managed one molecule, benzene, it's almost done,
But alas, a wardly friend, looking for some fun.
I am not rude, I answer back,
And for some time conversation doesn't lack.

By now my hour has run out, into the second I'm now moving,
And after all this time, one fact, I feel like proving.
The study area, Fishbowl- its name we can deduce,
If ever homework I feel like doing, It needs be I become a recluse!

Thirsty?
A beaker is simply a cup.
It holds liquids, it holds ions,
From it surely one may sup.
But one must be wary, one must be sure,
Of the contents held within, of the contents, are they pure?

The liquid could be acid,
Halogenated it might be,
A carcinogen hypothetically,
Some sort of base possibly?

Will it tear you inside out, will it make you scream?
Will it cause you much bleeding, will it produce many steams?
For as a beaker is simply, is surely, only a cup.
You can never be too sure if death,
Lies on the other side, as you sup.

A Popping
I strode across the room and to myself said:
"Why do ears pop?"

they are not part
of a percussion band.

Ears are not full
Of fizz in a can.

Even small sugary rocks
do not involve ears in their making.

Nor are they a father figure.
or a grandfather for the taking

The truth is this:
A Eustachian tube

The pressures are off,
And so it moves.

Adjusts if you will
To the many air tides

And makes you quite normal,
From the ears to insides.

What are Your Questions?
The questions they come, the questions they go,
Some are quite clever, others quite low.
But the best of all, the ones up on top,
Are the ones that make laughter, and even breath stop.